....10 november
daylight.....i get off the plane ...i make few steps..look back..the red line is in front of me...if i pass i can't go back...i take a big breath and...cross........i leave all behind....all that i had is beyond the big window...now i start from nothing....i walk to ... nowhere,,,,i stop every 5 min and take a look back ...look arrownd...no one is waiting for me...i start walk again...walking....walking....it's been weeks sinece i walk..months...i don't even remember...i rememeber i fall one time..i was walking walking and i felt so tired ...my eys were closeing...i stoped looked up and...fall...i closed my eyes and hoped thet when i will open i could go back in time and start over,,after 5 min..5 h ..5 day i don't actualy know how much time passed i open my eyes..he was next to me...and said..don't worry we all fall sometimes...if we don't fall we don't make progress..he take my hand and i get up ...i don't fell any pain now..i could walk without any presure on my sholders..he stay next to me...i walk he walks...i turn he turns..i am lost ..but he is showing me a road on a hill...he is realllly quite..i don't say anything ,thinking that he will go...we get to that road..a really nice tree is near us...he start talking...: "from here you have to go alone..i can't come more farr..."i ask him why...he is not answering..i ask him if i will need help what i will do,,,he says that he will watch over me and that he is not the only one...and i should look forward...and don't look back..i make few steps and...he dissapear...i hope i will see him again :)
since then i didn't fall...but i wonder what i will do next time when i will fall?
